Love is Love. End Of.

This week, the House of Commons approved same sex marriage in the UK. It’s a long overdue move forward for many people – the unequal rights that people have suffered previously, based up their sexual orientation have long needed a shove in the other direction. Whilst this debate has really gotten into full swing over the last year or so, it’s really reminded me of some GIFs I saw a while back These GIFs showed Black segregation at its height in America and stated that in 50 years’ time those who were against Gay Marriage will look back and realise just how stupid they all were.

I’ve heard far too many arguments against Gay Marriage; ones that simply stem from homophobia – there are no well thought out arguments in sight. “It’s not natural” they say. Really? What could be more natural than following your earthly desires with someone you truly love and are dedicated to? And for that matter, what is wrong with two consenting adults engaging in intimate acts that are private… and whose business is it what they get up to?

I’d like to remind those blindly arguing against any kind of person not being able to marry any other kind of person, that heterosexual (and usually, but wrongly deemed “normal”) couples engage in acts of love which many others may not approve of (let’s just put 50 Shades of Grey on the table here) yet they are not outlawed. I use this extreme example to demonstrate just how silly all of this law business is. You will let a straight couple engage in anal fisting in the comfort on their own home but you will not let a man slip a ring on another man’s finger? Perspective people, please.

And let’s just have a look at that word “normal”. In the 21st Century, where everyone decides to conduct their relationships in whichever way they please, can someone honestly give me a dictionary definition of this concept? A “normal” relationship no longer exists. I’m not sure it ever did. Some of my friends have rules and regulations about how long they wait before sexual contact or how long you have to be together before you can say those 3 little words and truly mean them. I don’t, and some of my other friends don’t. Some go for certain guidelines and not for others, but they all behave and conduct their relationships in a way which works for them. That doesn’t mean one of us is wrong and the other isn’t – we’re all different, remember?

So let’s throw out this word “normal” and focus on what’s really at stake here, because those MPs who didn’t approve same sex marriage, who have probably never been through any stigma in their life, should not have the right to decide whether others can get married or not. The Same Sex Marriage debate has been going on for a long while now. It was first brought to my attention when Civil Partnerships came into existence in 2004. At the time, it was another huge step forward, but just the sheer fact that it was given a different name to that of heterosexual relationships, meant that from the start it was not about equality for everyone. It was about giving those of a different sexual orientation something similar; something that looked like marriage, but wasn’t. What rights were the same? Property rights, inheritance tax, social security, pensions, parental responsibilities, tenancy rights, full life insurance recognition and next of kin rights in hospitals. Sounds brilliant, right? But if the rights are the same, why call it something else? The difference of title, for me shows inherent prejudice, before anyone’s even started to discuss the matter.

Issues around sexuality have also arisen in the last few years with a significant increase in pop culture’s interest in the subject matter; with androgynous rockers going back to the likes of Placebo and their debut in 1996, and the release of chart topper “Nancy Boy” in 1998, allowing the lyrics “And it all breaks down to the role reversal” to grace the mainstream’s airwaves. Their 2000 single “Taste in Men” is a song which many sing along to; it’s one of those that you’ve heard around, you know all the words but you’re not sure where it’s from or who wrote it. And of course, those people singing along to the lyrics “change your style again” have no idea that the video depicts the feminine, bisexual vocalist Brian Molko conducting affairs with a man and a woman at the same time. Some of Placebo’s messages and images were more stark than others, but they certainly started to make a noise in the lats 90s and early 00s. Then along came a flurry of powerful female icons; Katy Perry not afraid to claim “I Kissed a Girl and I liked it” and finally this decade’s Gay Icon, Lady Gaga who’s thundering tune “Pokerface”, reportedly about a previous boyfriend being oblivious to her bisexuality, was the UK’s number one single for 3 weeks, staying in the chart for an incredible 66 weeks.

Despite the rush of musicians trying to break down barriers with regards to sexuality and equality since the 1970s and its glam rock era, Lady Gaga seems to have hit the chord in a very different way. She’s taken the world by storm, with the previously named “freaks” of the world becoming her army of “Little Monsters”, flaunting their sexual orientation, “gender bending” and flamboyant personalities, and rightly so. Of course, she’s been hit by the opposition numerous times though, but that hasn’t stopped her. A rather huge fan of Gaga’s, I remember seeing a video of hers a few years ago, in which a protester at one of her shows handed her a “Get Out of Hell Free Card” because he believed that was where she was heading. After a long search on YouTube, I’m pleased to say I managed to locate the original video, which you can watch below.

Although she’s been labelled as such, personally I don’t think “Gay Icon” is the right way to describe Lady Gaga. This inspirational woman is a Freedom Fighter, a missionary for equality, being brave and freedom of expression. And that’s what this is all about isn’t it? Freedom.

Doesn’t it strike anyone as slightly worrying that, after 7 of our recorded millennia, we’re still fighting amongst ourselves for freedom? I know that, despite this monumental occasion, homophobia won’t stop just yet, just as I refuse to say that racism no longer exists because the law says it shouldn’t. It does. Because at the end of the day, some people are just terrified of difference. Well I say embrace it.

I’m straight, (albeit with an acquired taste for feminine men) but I’ve spent many an hour rolling my eyes at people who told me I “looked like a lezza” when I used to have a Mohawk, and I’ve researched and written this particular blog entry to the stunning soundtrack of Brian Molko’s dulcet tones. So many people listen to Placebo’s lyrics and ask me what the hell he’s going on about. I know what he’s saying:

Love is love. End of.

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Disclaimer: Please note, these views belong solely to me and I do not claim to represent the views of the gay community, merely to stand in support of their rights.